How to spot bullying in the locker room
Bullying is that invisible enemy that potentially present in any group of individuals, especially if they are composed of children or adolescents, whose voluble personality is a matter of ups and downs in the relations between each of its members. We must avoid this type of harmful dynamics appear in our team. To do so, should be aware of any small change that it may produce in the behavior of each one of our players. Catch it early is vital for the psychological and physical health of our workforce, and to perpetuate the good atmosphere in the dressing room.
Unfortunately, we are not facing an easy to beat enemy. There is no synonymous with surefire recipes, only indicators that we can put on alert. Then, I leave a few guidelines to combat bullying:
1 observe the players: we should pay attention in everything we see and hear because in case of bullying, it will never produce in front of the coach. Many offenders act correctly in our presence but when they think that we don't see them, do it in a different way. Fear makes that victims also have a fictitious friendliness connection. It is convenient to see the kind of interaction that occurs between the players when they are not training or supervised by adults.
2. analyze the crash performance: everyone must be happy and have fun while playing because it has a positive influence on decision making and risk they take in the moves. If we see that they are well below their usual level, systematically commit the same mistakes in the pass or shot, do not receive tickets from colleagues when they are the best choice... There may be the possibility that bullying is the cause of this. Continuous and mysterious stomach pains or absences in many workouts can also be symptoms that something happens.
3 monitor bad behaviors: there are details of different intensity that we can put on alert. You must identify the potential "targets" of bullying: players who are rare by their way of being or physical appearance. We can guess what when we see someone laughs whenever speaks a specific player, at a stage more advanced, if we observe that always disappears clothes or objects to the same child or we hear derogatory messages to him.
4. avoid derogatory and not tolerate them: as responsible for a group, must guard against much of the comments that we do in front of the players. Although always to be the same player that fails, make noise as we talk or make inappropriate disruption, we must keep a cool head and not draw your attention continuously in front of everyone. It would be a good idea to tell them in private to make it change its attitude without that group put a label which generate problems of relationship with them. Of course, zero tolerance with the offensive comments among our players, nor help the cohesion of the group or are beneficial for the team.
5 meet and settle disputes instantly: when we see a friction between our players, the solution is not the look the other way and say that focus on the game which is important. Avoiding the problem, we will not fix it. The problem still there, latent and will manifest itself in the future with greater virulence. We have to address the conflict from the serenity that gives us the charge, making them reflect and calming them so they explain things calmly.
6 follow social networks and group chat: in the age of new technologies, football clubs benefit from applications such as answers to communicate with their staff, but also creates groups of players who often are used to send messages derogatory or attack certain players. A misuse of applications such as Whatsaap or Snapchat (the followers of the "bullies" because messages do not leave traces and they self-destruct within 15 seconds) can cause conflicts in our trainings to burst and we have no idea of the true origin of the problem if all maintain a hermetic attitude and not say anything. Therefore it would be nice if an adult supervise this type of groups and put any details likely to be detrimental to the group to the attention of the parties concerned.
7. do not draw hasty conclusions: not always the strongest student is the "bully", we must be willing to listen to each of the parties and not be guided by logic, although we are sure of what happened. Sometimes, students who exercise violence, verbal or physical, are figure, maladjusted or asocial students who adopt an always correct attitude with everyone, but they do it for the sake of feeling stronger, or have fun at the expense of another. We must not prejudge never and we must calm the situation. We're not losing the training time, we are investing in the future of the team.
8 working with parents: they are not our enemies and enriches the dialogue. They are people who want the good for your child and we talk with them if we suspect that there is a case of bullying. Perhaps tell us that at home they are also concerned about the issue and don't know what to do, or in the event a mistake, thank us have worried about it.
9 get advice by the companions: the best idea would be to involve the maximum possible number of people: fellow coaches, coordinators, members of the club. All of this focused from the strictest confidentiality. The goal would be to share lines of action and listen to opinions or proposals that help us in the subject. We must not fall into the error of do it all alone. You have to get advice and if we are fortunate that someone has lived a similar case, we can speak from experience and give us the keys to solve the situation.
10 offered to solve problems: our staff has to feel and see that the coach gives an effective response to conflicts and solves the problems that they may have. To do this, we must say whenever they talk to us when they deem it appropriate, even though the problems are unrelated to football. Before that coaches are your reference and a model to follow. Give them that confidence will do that in case of any conflict, they turn to us to help them solve it.
The main danger of bullying is the silence of all parties involved, some because they know what they are doing is wrong and others silent out of shame or fear of reprisals has. Until bullying situations is complex, can someone take suffering many months or even years until it gathers the courage to say "Enough!" already.
From this web page I encourage you to do everything on your part from your position as coach. If we witness some misconduct and do nothing, we are approving of that performance. We know that it is not easy, but above the results is the fact of training people and fostering a good atmosphere in the workforce. In addition to avoiding the suffering of a child or adolescent (which is priceless!), we may deter a bully from becoming an abuser in the future.